HOW TO CONDUCT A SIMPLE AND DIGNIFILED MARRIAGE ?
I have all praise and respect for Ms. A. Ameerunnisa of Melvisharam for her excellent article in Urdu (titled "Hamaari shadiyon ka Mas-ala") published in the October 2008 issue of Omeiat Journal) about the importance of conducting simple and austere marriages as per Islamic norms. She has rightly pointed out that although Islam has made Nikah (marriage) easy, we have made it very difficult by our uncivilized and greedy way of conducting it in total violation of the principles enshrined in the holy Quran and the Ahadees (Sayings of Prophet Mohammed -sal-am) The editorial comments about the evils of posh and extravagant marriages are most apt.

I am sorry to say that we Muslims do not conduct marriages in a simple and dignified way. To us Islam means some routine rituals and nothing else. We discuss even small things with all seriousness in and outside the mosques but serious and important issues such as Importance of Islamic marriage without evil dowry are ignored. The Jamaath leaders and Imams do not seem to be interested in reforming the community by bringing in strict rules and regulations for conducting simple marriages and becoming role models for all. If they come together and act honestly, the entire community will have no option but to follow them and thus the evils connected with the marriage will be eradicated. Let them ponder over it and act for the sake of the community which is passing through a difficult period having no leaders worth the name.

There is another way of approaching it also. The have-nots should know their position well and not try to imitate the rich in conducting posh marriages. In the present highly materialistic world one should be very careful particularly the poor because they have no leaders, no ulema, no umara, to guide them. They should become bold enough to face the challenges before them by adopting Islamic codes. Conducting a marriage in a simple way is praise-worthy and dignified.The marriage of the Prophet (Sal-am) is a model to us and definitely not the marriage of any prince.

The ulema and umara hobnob with each other closely for their own purposes. There are a very few ulema who have the interest of the community at heart. Why should the have-nots worry about them and dig their own grave by doing things which they are not capable of ?

The general tendency of the people is to waste money in marriages even by selling properties if they own or getting loans from individuals and banks and landing themselves in trouble. Generally speaking a Muslim family is definitely in no way equal and better to a non Muslim family in financial standing. Only males are the earning members in most of Muslim families consisting of at least 4 or 5 persons whereas in most of the non-Muslim families both males and females are earning members. One can imagine their predicament in discharging their domestic responsibilities in this situation.

Ms. Ameerunnisa rightly says that dowry is demanded according to the status of the prospective bridegroom. Getting dowry is an insult to the bridegroom and our youngsters should make it a point to consider so and abhor it. We read a report in newspapers about a Muslim returning the dowry given to him sometime ago. There is a glimpse of hope now. There are some youngsters inspired by some Movements who do not want to demand or accept any dowry. There are also some instances of some youngsters solemnising their marriages by giving maher and not taking any dowry.

It is usually seen that the maher given by the husband is a pittance in comparison with the dowry and other things received by him. How can it be called maher in the real sense? It violates the Islamic principle. I request you and our ulema to comment on this important issue in a convincing manner.

There is also an urgent need for the Muslim community to empower their women by giving them higher education and making them stand on their own legs for the sake of its progress and prosperity.

The Waqf Board can play an important role in reforming the Muslim community in consultation with the mosque Jamaaths. It should announce every year for some important reform. The coming year 2009 can be made Dowry Eradication Year and every mosque can constitute a committee to make arrangements for enlightening the people by pamphlets and speeches during Juma prayers to consider dowry as an evil and accepting it as a sin. The mosques can also seek the services of different welfare associations for this purpose.

The reforms such as the above should come from within the community to safeguard our identity and Muslim personal law.
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WHITHER THE MUSLIM COMMUNITY?
V.M. KHALEELUR RAHMAN
This has reference to the following three write-ups. No sensible person can deny the fact that there is an urgent need to regulate, control and supervise marriages and divorces for all communities, not just for Muslims alone as there are misusers of the present weak laws. Muslims cannot be an exception to it.. If we observe the Muslim community, we will find that polygyny is very rare among them. We rarely see Muslims having more than even one wife. I have never seen a Muslim living with four wives. My feeling is that generally every Muslim is faithful to his wife. The rich are more so. It is usually the perverted people who resort to second marriage and suffer. There are more sufferers among the people who live with two wives. I know a person whose first wife deserted him and went to her parents when he solemnised a second marriage without her permission and started living with her. A problem cropped up and remained unsolved for sometime. Finally she returned to her husband only when he divorced his second wife.

Prophet Mohammed (Sal-am) lived with a single wife Hazrath Khathija (R.A.) for more than 25 years. Islam undoubtedly advocates monogamy and permits polygyny under certain "unavoidable circumstances". In other words there must be a sound reason for adopting a second wife. This is the case in most of the Muslim countries. In Saudi Arabia it is not so and that is why parents of girls are demanding high "dowry" ( or you may call it by whatever name you want) for giving their daughters in marriage to Saudi men who are considered unreliable. We must know that there are thousands of unmarried women there because of the ugly attitude of men regarding marriage and divorce. The Arab News brings out such things quite often. Generally polygamy is used in the polygyny sense. Nobody says that Islam permits a woman to have more than one husband. Anyhow Mr. Momin's explanation is correct. But it is not a reply to the court judgment.

The Supreme Court advocate? A. Rasheed Qureshi's arguments are simply ridiculous, highly objectionable and totally unacceptable because there is no sign of Islamic thought in his arguments. A good man - whatever may be his ideology -cannot indulge in "Zina" (adultery), leave alone Muslims. The Kerala High Court's stand is praise-worthy. The same marital laws cannot and should not be for all times. One should know that Islam gives laws for all times - yes totally different laws depending on the situation. The holy Quran dictates everything clearly and we do not want to listen to it. We should not forget the holy Quranic warning that if we do not do justice, God appoints others to do that. In our country India fortunately government, judiciary, Muslim intellectuals, etc. have enacted and are trying to enact wonderful laws which are in accordance with the letter and spirit of the holy Quran in many instances whereas a majority of our so called "Ulemas" are repeating the worn out things in the name of Islam for which there are no takers. There are a very few thinking Ulemas. My sympathies are with the advocate for his pathetic condition and un-Islamic bent of mind.
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Kerala High Court for a system to regulate Muslim marriages ‘Moral strength needed to eradicate polygamy’ In Pakistan, Muslim family law regulates polygamy KOCHI: A Division Bench of the Kerala High Court on Wednesday observed that legislation for setting up bodies at Central and regional levels to regulate, control and supervise Muslim marriages and divorces was the need of the hour. The Bench of Justice Kurian Joseph and Justice Harun-Ul-Rashid, while passing a verdict in a matrimonial case involving a Muslim couple, said an effective system should be introduced for protecting the Muslim society and women from “indiscreet marriage and divorce.” The court observed that though polygamy was allowed in the strict sense by Islam, there was no system in India to supervise or control such indiscreet marriage and divorce. Going by Koranic verses, permission to marry more than one woman, but not more than four, was given at a time when there were lots of orphans, widows and captives of war who were unable to maintain a dignified life. Polygamy was allowed then due to unavoidable circumstances. In fact, the practice was discouraged by imposing stringent conditions. The court observed that even after 15th century, some people of the community seemed to be very particular in following the practice, unmindful of whether such circumstances existed or not. They entered into more than one marriage, mostly for their personal pleasure. The court said polygamy was unlawful in the country. It called for moral strength, if not religious factor, to eradicate polygamy from among the Muslims. The court said there was no system in the country to ascertain and decide whether a person was eligible to contract more than one marriage during the subsistence of the first marriage. Men in the community enjoyed unrestricted freedom to marry women of their choice and pronounce talaq according to their whims and fancies. In fact, most of such marriages were illegal since they were against Koranic injunctions. The court pointed out that in Pakistan, Muslim family law regulated polygamy and provided for an arbitration council. The Bench appealed to all concerned within the community and the administrative authority and the government to study the problems faced by “helpless and destitute women and children” and bestow thoughts on the ways and means to alleviate their problems.
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To say Islam permits POLYGAMY is wrong.I have explained it below POLYGAMY The generel impression is that Islam permits Polygamy.It is wrong-totally wrong. I will explain below why it is wrong to say so. The word Polygamy covers two words POLYANDRY and POLYGYNY.I will explain below what these two words mean. POLYANDRY means one wife and she has more than one husband-a practice prevalent among some tribes.Polyandry is not permitted in Islam.Infact it is not permitted among followers of any Book. POLYGYNY is one husband and more than one wife-restricted to four in Islam under some circumstances and not a generel license. This can be checked with any English Dictionary Therefore to say Islam permits Polygamy is wrong because it means it permits both Polyandry and Polygyny Muslims must say Islam permits only restricted Polygyny limited to maximum four under special circumstance but if you fear you will not do justice between them, then Holy Quran recomends one only.Sura 4 NISSA verse 3. If any one says Islam permits Polygamy please correct him or her.It is our duty A.MOMIN Please make copies and circulate Please read belowFrom: Abdul Rasheed Qureshi <rasheed1357@yahoo.co.in> Date: Sun, 26 Oct 2008 07:17:38 +0530 (IST)As Salamo AlaykumIt would be worthwhile to take the fight to the doorstep of the accuser. Islam permits marriage with four women at a time. Meaning if one of the four dies or is divorced, it is open to marry another woman and again have four wives. Let us not fight shy of admiting that the masculine gender tends to be physically satisfied by sex with more than one female. How does one satisfy it? Either it must be legally permitted as in Islam or it could be illegal as in the non-Muslim society.The fact is that a very large majority of non-Muslim males and females have illegal sex - be it pre-marital or extra-marital. It is an epidemic having reached menacing levels in thier society. Of a surity, this is rare in Muslims. If it (illegal sex ) is prevelant in Muslims, it is because Nikah has become difficult. If Nikah with the permitted 4 women is made easy, Zinah will become difficult.If we shy away, it will be extremely difficult to explain why the Prophet had so many wives. You could nearly be blasphamous. Prophet Muhammad had married for several higher reasons other than for physical sex.I believe Islam does not say that marriage of Hindus or Christians is no marriage. It is a marriage, although it is a ritual by thier rules. They are not living in Zinah till they cohabit with their lawfully wedded woman. But outside and beyond that is all Zinah. We Muslims (Islam) consider 'sex by consent' as Zinah - a mojor sin, while most other societies do not even consider it bad - much less a major sin. So our rules of judging 'illegal sex' are stricter than all other societies.The losers in all relations of illegal sex are invariably the females. So Islam proposes a very respectable living for the women folk who may lose their husbands even during thier younger life. As 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife, they have a respectable living anyway. In other societies she becomes the property of all males and leads a debauched life.Can someone tell the judges of Kerala HC that Quranic injunctions are apt for all times and all places for they address human instincts and needs which are unchanging.May Allah Keep Us on Siratal Mustaqeem.Was SalamA Rasheed QureshiAdvocate - Supreme Court of India

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Whither the Muslim community?

I read with interest the three articles on Muslims published in Sunday Times dated 21 September 2008.

There is no doubt that the Muslim community is backward educationally and economically and there is an urgent need to work for their upliftment by the government and community welfare associations. Muslims face problems in certain pockets particularly in North India where due to certain hard-core communal parties the people are divided and discriminated on religious grounds. Of course such difficulties are faced by all other communities also somewhere or other in the country perhaps at lesser levels and not so frequently as Muslims do. It is certainly not that the Muslim community is on one side and the rest of the people on the other.

In southern states like Tamil Nadu we see students of different religious communities in educational institutions studying together well without any discrimination. There are government and private organisations where different religious people work together happily. One can see Muslim boys and girls coming out with flying colours in non-Muslim educational institutions and non-Muslim boys and girls in Muslim institutions. Our children studied in Muslim and Christian institutions without any grievances. I feel that every community should try to save itself from problems. It is an art. It should be cultivated.

As a Muslim I feel that unless I make friendship with non-Muslims, I cannot be a good Muslim as my faith teaches me that the entire humanity is one from the same God. I studied in Muslim schools and college mingling with non-Muslim friends closely. We had good Muslim, Christian and Hindu teachers. They taught us well and we respected them very much. Ofcourse in north Indian states the Hindu-Muslim divide is serious as reported in the articles under reference.

It is of course very unfortunate that the Muslim community does not have reformers like Sir Syed Ahmed Khan to show them the right direction in education which is a sine qua non for their betterment. Islamic scholars (ulema) and rich Muslims (umera) who are pillars of the Muslim community should ponder over it and plan an agenda for their reformation, better education, better economic condition, etc. shunning their stereotype demands for Urdu, increase in Haj quota, etc. voiced so far. The holy Quran says that God helps only those who help themselves.

I am of the strong view that my motherland India is the most beautiful country in the world - Saray jahaan say achcha Hindustan hamaara - despite its omissions and commissions. There is no match to it. I love it from the bottom of my heart.

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WAQF BOARD IN KARNATAKA

Islam has given a high status for women. Their appointment as members of district level waqf committees in Karnataka cannot be opposed on religious grounds. If there are any other reasons for the opposition, it can be discussed.

It is note-worthy that Tamil Nadu has had a woman Mrs. Bader Sayeed as the Head of the Waqf Board here. Her period was highly successful. There was no opposition worth the name for it. Mrs. Bader Sayeed endeavoured her best to safeguard the interest of the Muslim community in the Waqf Board. It was really a historic one. All jamaats
co-operated with her.

In Karnataka too this can be possible but the women to be appointed should be highly qualified and have good experience in dealing with problems which are expected in this arena. If such women are not available and men are better qualified and experienced, of course they should be preferred.

On the other hand if the decision to appoint Muslim women as members to the waqf board is on the impression that the Muslim community does not like it, it can be considered only as a political stunt and undesirable one. There should be respect for the community to which the Waqf Board belongs. Any unilateral decision will not be in the national interest.

The Karnataka Government and the Muslim community can do well to discuss this issue and arrive at a conclusion. Let the fair name of Islam be not damaged in this tussle for power.

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ISLAM IS FOR PEACE

The article "The holy text and terror" by Mr. S. Gurumurthy in The New Indian Express dated 18 September 2008 is to say the least in bad taste. The author cannot be unaware of the fact that Islam is for peace, equality and brotherhood of the entire humanity.

At the outset I would like to say that Islam does not permit even hurting the feelings of anybody leave alone the question of killing any innocent person. The Prophet Mohammed (Sal-am)'s saying is that killing a person is like killing a society. No Muslim can and should take the law in his own hands.

Mr. Gurumurthy has started his article quoting the idiotic rhetoric of the so called "Indian Mujahideen". Who are these "Indian Mujahideen"? Where are they functioning from? Why is it that they have not been nabbed? Every Indian - whatever may be his or her religion - wants the culprits of the bomb blasts to be punished severely according to the laws of the land. He should know the worry and difficulties Indian Muslims are facing due to bomb blasts and threatening messages of the Mujahideen published in newspapers and telecast on TVs. In bomb blasts people belonging to all religions have lost their lives or got injured. These are all the handiworks of some miscreants bent upon tarnishing the fair name of Islam. They belong to no religion. Every Muslim as any other religionist hates perpetrators of bomb blasts and condemns them.

There is no doubt at all that the stand taken by the Mujahideen is absolutely wrong and mischievous. These people must be anti Muslim and anti Islam elements wanting to destroy the good image of the Islamic faith by quoting the sacred verses out of the context. Every Maulvi explains in his sermon that terrorism is against the concept of Islam. Yes the non-believers mentioned in the holy Quran do not mean non-Muslims. Moreover, these verses were revealed in war times during the time of Prophet Mohammed (Sal-am) in some particular context and are nothing to do with the present time. There are no takers for the version of the Mujahideen who are only devils quoting the scripture for their own selfish purposes.

Even Mrs. Zubeda, the mother of the alleged terrorist Tauqeer has said in her first ever recent interview that if proved guilty, her son can be hanged in public.

The fact is that Islam is for peace, progress and prosperity of all the people. Mr. Gurumurthy's suggestion that “If the Jihadis are aggrieved then they can take the violence against the state" is surprising. We cannot approve it. Everyone has to be a law abiding citizen trying to settle his or her problems through legal channels in a democratic way.

Mr.Gurumurthy's article has no mention about the horrible Gujarat tragedy which brought bad name to our country the worldover for the reasons best known to him even though he has touched this issue. One feels that he is not impartial in this regard. As a writer, as an Indian and also as a Hindu he should write justly taking no sides and suppressing no facts.

A Muslim can never support any terror as it is against his religious concept. There are innumerable instances of Hindus and Muslims sacrificing their lives for each other. The undeniable fact is that all are the creation of the same God and there is no point in creating divisions among them. Let us all join together to make our country a peaceful nation by eradicating injustices and all forms of terrorism which have raised their ugly heads here...
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Bomb blasts in Delhi

It is very unfortunate and shocking that five blasts have rocked the national capital Delhi in which according to reports at the time of writing this letter 20 people have lost their lives and 92 injured. It is not known how the enemies of the country are able to plant bombs in public places without being caught despite "all precautionary measures".

It seems that not only the police but also the public should be alert everywhere and try to nab the culprits while committing the offence. There is an urgent need for the police and other departments concerned to seriously endeavour to find out the extremists responsible for the blasts and see to it that they are punished severely according to the law of the land. No culprit should go scot-free.

One feels that the government should create a separate agency to deal with the bomb blasts and find solutions to keep the country free from the attacks of evil forces bent upon creating problems in our country possibly with the support and help of anti-India elements operating in neighbouring countries.

V.M. Khaleelur Rahman

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Muslim organisations should encourage dowry-free and simple marriages

The report that a 36 year old Muslim man returned the dowry of Rs.51,000 and 20 sovereigns of gold to his in-laws in Tamil Nadu (India) should make people think about it and follow Islam which ordains men to give meher and not to take dowry at the time of marriage.

The Jamaat which was instrumental for this and Mr. Rahman who has done it in public deserve praise and congratulations. Other Muslim organisations particularly mosque jamaats should try to reform the Muslim community by encouraging dowry-free and simple marriages.

The poor should not try to imitate the rich in conducting lavish marriages and the rich should become models in solemnising simple marriages as per Islamic doctrines. According to Islam, the rich and scholars are the pillars of the society and it is their responsibility to show the right guidance to the community.

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